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Rushhour - اس ام اس و جوک های توپ

Rushhour

عاشقانه:

be game kasi asiram ke ze man khabar nadarad
ajab az mohabate man ke dar oo asar nadarad
galat ast har ke gooyad del be del rah darad
dele man ze gosse khun shod dele oo khabar nadarad

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goftamash bi to che mibayad kard ?
akse rokhsareye mahash ra dad
goftamash hamdame shabhayam ku ?
tari az zolfe siyahash ra dad
vagte raftan hame ra mibusido be man az dur negahash ra dad
yadegari be hame dado be man
entezare sare rahash ra dad

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dar hame alam gashtamo asheg nashodam
to che budi ke to ra didamo divane shodam

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khorshid avare var tolu kard divane var entezar kehsid va masoomane gurub kard va shayad mah nemidanad chera asemane shab male ust

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shab porsidamash ba bigarari be geyr az man kasi ra dust dari ?
ze cheshmash ashk shod az sharm jari miyane geryehayash goft ari !

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zendegi eshgh ast eshgh afsane nist anke eshgh ra afarid divane nist
eshgh an nist ke kenarash bashi
eshgh an ast ke be yadash bashi

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agar donya baraye to mani va mafhumi nadare kami tamaol kon shayad to khod donyaye kase digeyi hasty

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alo borje moragebat?
elame vaziyate ezterari.
age galbetun ja dare ejaze forud mikham
ja hast ?

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vagty kudak budam be man migoftand hame ra dust bedar
hala ke az miyane hame be yek nafar del bestam miguyand faramushash kon

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T I T A N I C
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   '____________/   Although it was a big SHIP but it sunk. So the best SHIP is still FRIENDSHIP.

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kesi ke alphabeto ekhtera kard ye eshtebahe kheyli bozorgi karde ke beyne I  va   U fasele endakhte

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age nioton gable margesh surate maheto midid manaye hagigiye jazebe ro mifahmid

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dishab khastam vase delam fal begiram vagty falname ro baz kardam sheri umad ke rabti be dele man nadasht taze fahmidam ke delam male khodam nist

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marg az zendegi porsid chera man talkhamo to shirini ?
zendegi dar javab goft :chon man dorugamo to hagigat

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koohaye azim por az cheshmeand va ghalbhaye bozorg por az ashk

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angah ke zarbehaye tisheye zendegi ra bar risheye arezoohayat hess mikoni , be
khater biyavar ke zibaiye shahabha az shekastane ghalbe setaregan ast.

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agar dooram ze didarat dalile bi vafai nist , vafa anast ke ke namat ra hamishe
roye lab daram.

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Boro sare mikroskop........rafti...........chi mibini............ye zare kochik............midoni chiye???...............are???.............yekam fekr kon..................un dele mane ke barat 1 zare shodeee

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shaam dani be dame marg be parvane che goft?
goft ey ashege bichare faramush shavi...
sukht parvane vali khub javabash ra dad
goft tuli nakeshad to niz khamush shavi..

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vagty sedaye sms miyad manish in nist ke message dari manish ineke yeki be yadete

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buse bar aksat zanam tarsam ke gabash beshkanad gabe akse tost amma shisheye omre man ast buse bar muyat zanam tarsam ke tarash beshkanad tare muye tost amma shisheye omre man ast

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shimi nakhundam vali midunam age  eshg nabashe molkulhaye hidrozhen va oksizhen nemitunan engadr mohkam hamdigaro feshar bedan ke ashke joftehun dar biyad ...

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miravio man fagat negahat mikonam tajob nakon chera gerye nemikonam
bito ye omr baraye gerye forsat daram vali baraye tamashaye to hamin ye lahze bagi ast o shayad hamin ye lahzr ejaze zistan tu sheshmato dashte basham

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zamani ke dust bedarim kutahi mikonim zamani ke dusteman darand lajbazi mikonim bad baraye anche az dast rafte aaaaah mikeshim!

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miduni key mifahmi donya do ruze ?
vagty ke uni ke dusesh dari behet bege ta akhare donya bahatam

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be oo goftam gamgintarin taraneat ra barayam bekhan oo cheshmahasyh ra basto aram aram gerist

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razet ro be cheshmat ham nagu zira migeryado razat ra barmala mikonad

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yeruz ye setareye shans az asemun oftad ru zamin behem goft donya ro mikhay ya ye duste khub ?
goftam hishkudum !!!
akhe ye dust daram ke vasam mesle ye donyast

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viliyam shekspiyer mige : un vagty ke fekr mikoni hich kasi nist harfe deleto befahme kasi hast ke baraye didanet ruz shomari mikone.
khoda behet 2 ta pa dade ta ba una rah beri
2ta dast dade ta negah dari 2ta gush baraye shenidan 2 ta cheshm baraye didan vali chera ye galb be to dade chon galbe dovom to ro be kase digeyi dade ta uno peyda
koni

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engadr tu zendune galbet shulug mikonam hame zenduniya ro azar midam ta mano befresti be enferadiye galbet

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har shab boro kenare panjare ta setareha bebinanet....
ta hasudishun beshe ke maheshun male mane

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agar dardi tu pahat hes mikoni  age ehsas mikoni kheyli khasteyi be khatere ineke ruzi hezar bar tu khatere man miyao miri

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soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq soq
hami ina male shoma be sharte inke gushito bar ax begiri

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kheyli bikari.bebinam to karo zendegi nadari? dars nadari? khabo khorak nadari ke 24 saate tu galbe mani?

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age mano dus dari ke hich ... amma age dus nadari .......... tooooooo ggaaallaaaaaaaaaaaaat mikoniiiiiiiii

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bacheha shukhi shukhi be gonjishka sang mizanan gonjishka jeddi jeddi mimiran adama shukhi shukhi zakhme zabun mizanan va galba jeddi jeddi mishkanan va to shukhi shukhi labkhand mizani va man jeddi jeddi asheget misham kash shukhi shukhi be inke jeddi jeddi duset daram fekr mikardi

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az kasi ke dusesh dari sade dast nakesh shayad dige hich kaso mesle un dust nadashte bashi az kasi ham ke dustet dare bitafavot obur nakon chon shayad hich vagt hich kas toro mesle un dus nadashte bashe

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eshge to hamchon sekkeyi darune gollake galbam oftad age bekham uno az gollak dararam bayad delamo beshkanam

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age zanbur donbale ye gole khoshgel migasht june har ki dust dari nagu man kojam

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goftamash del mikhari?!porsid chand?!goftamash:del male to tanha bekhand. khande kardo del ze dastanam robud ta be khod baz amadam u rafte buddel ze dastash rooye khak oftade bud jaye payash rooye del ja mande bud

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buse tanha tasadofi ast ke polisrah nadarad.
daryaye gam tanha daryayi ast ke sahel nadarad
galb tanha chizi ast ke shekastanash seda nadarad
asheghi tanha dardi ast ke darman nadarad

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garche bi to zendegi ahangi nadarad miravam chon eshge man dar galbe to jayi nadarad

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emshab mikham teye ye amaliyate entehaaaari
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fadat besham

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 +۱۸ :

jadid tarin romane ashegane dar gazvin : khosro va farhad

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khanume 8 golu bachedar mishe vali mibinan har kudum az bachehash ye rangi hastan tahgig mikonan mibinan be jaye gorse zedde hamelegi esmartiz khorde bude

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Taraf Aroosi Mikone...

Shabe Aroosi Dadashe Taraf Mishine Poshte Dare Otaghe Aro0os!!

Migan: Chera injaei To?!

Mige: Babam Khodesh Goft Bad Az Dadashet Nobate Toe

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Taraf Azmayesh AIDS Mide...Javab + Miad !!

Mige Ajab Zamoonei Shode !! Adam Be Dastaye Khodesham Nemitoone Etemad Kone

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torke narahat bud miporsan chi shode ? mige dishab shabe avale arusim bud bade sex az ruye adat 3000 toman be zanam dadam unam 500 tomanesho bargardund

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gazviniye jelo eyne lokht mishe .... khodesho mibine mige : yar dar khanevo ma gerde jahan migardim!!

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duste rashtiye behesh mige che bacheye khoshgeli dari
mige hala ye kari baraye ma kardi hey mennat bezar

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boro ey gedaye meskin    darekhaneye goli zan
ke goli ze dar darayad    va tora chenan begayad
ke degar chenin gedayi     dare khaneash nayayad

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rashtiye nesfe shabi boland mishe mire ab mikhore mige : salam bar hossein ye nafar az zire takht mige : salam abbas agaaa

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rashtiye dare khunash tablo zade bud vorude afrade zire 18 sal mamnoo goftan in chiye goft aaaaooooo Namuse bache bazi ke nist

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agar namaz gozar bedanad chegadr az rahmate elahi oo ra fara gerefte ast hargez sar az sejde bar nemidarad (basije gazvin)

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aval saresho ba tof khis mikonam ... bad sikhesh mikonam ... bad mikonamesh tuye surakh...
man intori suzano nakh mikonam u chetor ?

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be gazviniye migan az che sheri khoshet miyad mige ke : balam jaaaan kabutar bache karde kash budio midi

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ye ruz ye gazviniya ro mibinam ke lokhte madar zad kenar zamin futbal deraz keshide behesh migan chera lokhty chera deraz keshidi boro bazi kon gazviniye mige:balam jan man berankardam

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ye ruz ye rashtiye mire pishe najjaro behesh mige : toro khoda ye komod baram besaz har vagt bazesh konam abbas aga ro tush nabinam

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ye ruz ye torke shorte khareji mipushe kunesh ehsase gorbat mikone

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ye ruz ye mare mire tu shorte arabe mige : rokhsat pahlevun

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ye ruz be torke migan ba ab jomle besazam mige : khahareto ۰۰۰۰۰  behesh migan pas abesh ku ? mige boro az abjit bepors

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miduni zanha chera gassab nemishan ?
chin be har gushti dast mizanan ostokhun mishe

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akhunde dokhtaro pesaro lab tu lab tu masjed mibine mire mige mage shoma khunevade nadarin haya nadarin din nadarin iman nadarin pesare mige haj aga hame inaro darim fagat khune khali nadarim

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bache gazviniye be mamanesh mige : mama shab koja miri ke baba hey mige azizam bargard

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be gazviniye migan az che ruzi khoshet miyad ? mige ruzi ke donya kon faya kun beshe

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tu gazvin zelzele miyad az sagf ye bache miofte payin gazviniye mige : aaaa zelzele tamum nashode komakhaye mardomi resid

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gazviniye be zanesh mige biya harfaye ashegune bezanim zanesh mige ok aval to shoru kon .....gazviniye:dadashet khube azizam ?
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be qazviniye migan che ahangi ro dus dari ? mige : un ahange moein ke mige : poshtet ro kardi bar man begu magu nadare

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miduni shabahate pesar mojarad ba lebashuyichiye?
har do tashun tu kafan

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age gofty be 20 ta dokhtare 18 sale to estakhr chi migan ?
kompoote holu

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ضایع کنی:

 

to mesle khorshid hasty miduni chera?
akhe az hamnun negahe aval mishod fahmid ke az poshte kuh umadi

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har vagt ehsase tanhayi kardi pahato tu sine jam kon va ba dastat be dakhel feshar bede hatman ye bade sedadar azat darmire vo mikhandio khoshal mishi ke tanhayi

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age kasi dasthato gereft-galbetlarzid,ajale nakon!!!shayad baba bargi bashe

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Ohoy,khub Gush kon chi behet migam,deghat kon,Beche kooni..yadet nare ha Bech

kooni..Hatman yadet nare ke ghatreye binit ro har shab Beche kooni

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be ellate nabudane cherto pert jahat ersale sms noruze 1386 ra tabrik miguyim

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boro paeen
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paeentar
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sare rahet hamoon ashghalaro ham bezar paeen dame dar

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ey ke shekasty ghalbe man ...ey ke daro basty be rooye eshghe man ..... , daro baz kon dastam moonde laye dar

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be niyate 124000 peyambar salavat befrest va in sms ro baraye 124000 nafar befrest enshalla ta akhare mah khabare khoshi az tarafe mokhaberat behet mirese

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tavalode isa mashih va jashne crismas va agaze sale noye miladi va agaze zhanviye be to hich rabti nadare khodeto gati nakon

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toooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorkeeeeeeeeee mireeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee sarbazi
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donbale chi migardi?
torke rafte sarbazi

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har moge ye magas bi khiyal az kenaret rad shod ... bedun hich gohi nisti

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vagty khoda zan ra afarid  dasht tamirin mikard

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negahat chon ogab delat chon darya dastat chon atash sedayat chon parandegadat chon sarv .
khak tu saret hichit mesle adam nist

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boro be jahanam ! chon fagat to mituni unjaro behesht koni

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lord bayron gofte : mordan baraye zani ke dustash dari az zendegi kardan ba oo rahattar ast

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yeki delesh vase mahigir misuze ... yeki delesh vase mahi .... amma hichkas delesh vase to ke sare gollabi nemisuze

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har ruzetan noruz ...... noruzetan piruz .... piruzetan emruz ..... emruzetan har ruz ...... chegadr gashan oskol shodi emruz

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sedat barge negat tapeshe galbet nafasthaye tondet va aragi ke ru pishunit nishaste hame guyaye ye chize :
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tiroidet por kare boro doctor

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tu in saat garar bud tu jangal ye jalaseye mohem bargarar she vali nemishe miduni chera ? akhe in olaghe narafte jalase dare sms mikhune

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cheshmhaye doroshto zibayat ra ke be man miduzio ba labhaye ziba avaz mikhuni ehsas mikonam ke bish az hamishe asheget hastam to ziba tarin gurbagheye in berkeyi

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ersale sms tekrari haram mibashad va kaffareye an amuzeshe mantegh be 60 tork .
amuzeshe gerat be 60 rashtti va 60 bar sherkat dar namaze jamate gazvin mibashad

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پاستوریزه: 

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tasvire havayi az namaz jomeye gom

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az bush miporsan chera be arag hamle kardi mige emam hossein talabid migan khob hala key mikhay beri mige har vagt emam reza betalabe

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torka ro mikhan oskol konan ru ye barge chek mablagh ro minvisan khoda toman .
mibinan tork dare guni guni az bank pul darmiyare
tahgig mikonan mibinan rayis bank lor bude

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name jadide albume mehran modiri:dasta hame bala ... morabba bede baba

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test konkoor 85
bi to sardameh ……..
1) bokhary
2)patoo
3)arash
4)shoofazh

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mard in mojude bichare !
vagty be donya miyad hame hale mamanesho miporsan!vagty ezdevaj mikone hame migan che aruse khoshgeli!
vagty mimire hame migan bichare zanesh !

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ye ruz be torke migan in hame baratun jok misazan narahat nemishin ?
torke mige : shayad bara shoma jok bashe vali bara ma khateras

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ye torke shilang barmidare vo tv ro ab pashi mikone vo mige : mage bache .... nagoftam inja footbal bazi nakonin

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torke dashte ba mashin eyne khar tu khiyabun mirafte polis mibine mige : bezan bagal torke mizane bagal polis mige : karte mashin ,govahiname,bime torke mige: chiye bayad jomle besazam ?

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torke shalvaresho bar ax mipushe (zipesh poshtesh mimune ) mogeyi ke mire birun madaresh behesh mige elahi gorbunet beram ke vagty miri engar dari miay

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be torke migan chera mashineto az pelak shoru mikoni be shostan?
mige valla ye bar az sagf shuru kardam be shostan residam be pelak didam mashine khodam nist

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pinokio mire sare khake babas mige : arusaki budam barat ke to behem nafas dadi

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va khodavand ensan ra afarid ve be sheytan farmud sejde kon shytan goft nemikonam va khodavand farmud : to galat mikkiiini

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be torke migan vagty hazrate yunes raft tu dahane nahangh chi shod ?
torke mige : ye sazmani tashkil shod be name yunes ku

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bache esfahaniye be babash : babayi chera ma mesle bagiye adama ba kashti safar nemikonim?
babash:khafe sho shenato bokon

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torke tu arusi mikhunde :mikham ba buse gole labato par par konam!!
yeho komite mirize tu majles !!
torke mge: bad golaye par par ro hedye be rahbar konam!!


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نوشته شده در جمعه 20 بهمن1385ساعت 23:6 توسط شاهین| |